I used to get asked for help multiple times per week every week at my old job. Stuff like reviewing blog posts, giving talks, writing internal memos, attending recruiting events, calling candidates (especially women), even mentoring new employees whom I’d never met. I was overwhelmed.
For a long time, I kept saying yes to everything because I wanted to look like a team player. But there were three major issues with my unwillingness to say no:
- I didn’t have enough time to focus on my own personal/career growth.
- Even if I managed to say no, it often took me over an hour to make my decision and figure out how to respond productively and nicely (because women have to be nice).
- I was taking up opportunities for growth and reputation-building that other folks would have loved to take on.
In this blog post, I’m going to talk about how I started holding myself accountable for saying no via my “no” tracker, the list of questions I asked myself in order to clarify my feelings more quickly, and how I kept conversations productive after saying no.